Lessons in Watching Your Parents Compete
And it's definitely not about showing off
After angrily screaming “Bob Scott?!?!?”, the umpire pulled the man in his mid-50s off to the side to scold him. The umpire reminded Bob that this was a men’s church softball league and cursing would NOT be tolerated. Bob reassured the umpire that his yelling was NOT profanity but his own name screamed in frustration at hitting a ground ball squarely to the second baseman. The umpire embarrassingly apologized for the confusion and Bob shrugged while acknowledging that his tone could be misinterpreted for screaming curses.
Learning how Bob (and others) reacted when their performance didn’t go as planned was one of hundreds of observations I picked up as a 9-year-old serving as the team bat boy while my Dad coached the church softball team 20+ years ago. It was a win-win situation for me and the 12 grown men on the church softball team. The team relied on me to dutifully pick up the bat after each hit and in return I got to stay up WAY past my usual bedtime.
Seeing my dad compete and coach softball may not seem like a big deal on the surface, but I learned a tremendous amount about sportsmanship from those late nights in the Florida humidity. As they say, more is caught than taught and that was certainly true for me. These early experiences motivated me to continue pursuing athletic competition as an adult with kids of my own.
As a kid, I soaked up the mini life lessons found in those softball games:
Respect for authority. When you disagree with a call from the umpire, it’s okay to be frustrated but shake it off and don’t let it linger.
Teamwork. Everyone should be included. Don’t turn a recreational game into an all-star game where guys ride the bench.
Humility. When you score, celebrate with your teammates instead of beating your chest and making it all about you.
Enjoyment. It’s just a game. Enjoy the camaraderie, the competition, and the atmosphere.
As an adult, those memories of the church league softball games were ingrained in my memory and I wanted my kids to pick up some of the same lessons I learned through sports. Most years, I’ve tried to compete in some kind of race (running or swimming), or a competitive soccer league. It’s led to some fascinating conversations with my kids that probably would never happen without sports. After a half marathon in 2022, my kids had all kinds of questions:
“Did you win?”
“Wait… you didn’t?!”
“Why not?”
“Why did you even do the race if you weren’t going to win?”
After getting through the slight sting of their obvious disappointment, we were able to talk about the training leading up to the race, the joy of the competition, and the beautiful setting of running through the Colorado trails that all made the race worthwhile.
I hope, if nothing else, that my kids gain an appreciation for sports and physical activity that can benefit them for the rest of their lives.
Ultimately, sports give us a portal to experience the highs and lows of life found in the quick burst of competition:
Your kids will probably never see you get a promotion at work, but you can show them how you carry yourself after winning your age group in a trail run
Your kids will likely never see you “fail” at work, but you can show them how you respond when striking out in a slow pitch softball league
Your kids will probably never see what you’re like to deal with on a group project, but they can see what kind of teammate you are in an adult soccer league
I encourage you to get out there and find a competition1, bring your kids along or even better invite them to join, and see what kind of conversation follows.
Thanks for reading! Please share in the comments if you’ve had similar experiences as a child watching your parents or as an adult competing…
I’m not a marriage counselor, but probably best to double check with your spouse